I've been reflecting a lot on the concept of manipulation lately, and for me, there’s a profound connection between manipulation and people-pleasing. Both come from the same energy—stepping away from our true selves in an attempt to control or secure a desired outcome. Eventually, both tend to lead to disappointment because they’re built on a foundation of disconnection from who we really are.
The real shift happens when you start prioritizing your own needs and protecting them as if it's your most important task. At first, this can feel ruthless or even selfish, but over time, it transforms into something far more powerful—unconditional love. As you learn to honor your boundaries and stand firm in what you need, you're not manipulating the world around you; you're aligning with your truest self. And that, in turn, creates a deeper, more authentic connection with others and with your own heart.
This came at the perfect, synchronous time for me. I've recently been gaslighted by someone with narcissistic traits who told me I'm manipulative and selfish. As if it were some terrible thing. I definitely need to own the Dark Queen within me, unapologetically. I cannot be all light and perfect but I can be True and Real.
Yes! We need the Dark Queen to protect us from people who don't have our best interests at heart. Where the Villain Crown of manipulative and selfish - and stand in your dark power! 🖤👑
I really needed to hear this. I was always called a B*tch because I spoke my mind and as time went on I held back. To the point I don’t say much anymore it is rather depressing
Wear the B*tch Crown 👑 and speak your mind. It is depressing when we hold back, and we become lifeless, or it bubbles up in an unconstructive way. Thank you for sharing! 🖤
This piece is a fierce reclamation of the parts of ourselves we were taught to hide—the rage, the ruthlessness, the refusal to be palatable. I felt every word like a war cry. The Dark Queen isn’t just a metaphor; she’s a survival instinct, a compass when niceness starts costing us our voice, our boundaries, and our self respect. There’s something holy in giving yourself permission to be “too much,” especially in a world that rewards women for being small.
Wielding power with discernment, not denial—that’s the real art. It’s not about becoming the villain for show, but acknowledging that sometimes, to protect your soul, you have to be willing to disappoint people. You have to risk being misunderstood. And that risk? That’s where liberation lives.
Female villains aren’t really villains. If it was a male character it’d be a normal, ambitious guy. Women are painted as villains when they exist outside society’s ideas about what & how a woman “should” be. They burned us for centuries because of it.
I loved this post. I've always been team villain. Villains are smart, strategic, ambitious, passionate entrepreneurs, and most of the time they dress better.
I also just started reading A Court of Thorns and Roses 😆✨
I've been reflecting a lot on the concept of manipulation lately, and for me, there’s a profound connection between manipulation and people-pleasing. Both come from the same energy—stepping away from our true selves in an attempt to control or secure a desired outcome. Eventually, both tend to lead to disappointment because they’re built on a foundation of disconnection from who we really are.
The real shift happens when you start prioritizing your own needs and protecting them as if it's your most important task. At first, this can feel ruthless or even selfish, but over time, it transforms into something far more powerful—unconditional love. As you learn to honor your boundaries and stand firm in what you need, you're not manipulating the world around you; you're aligning with your truest self. And that, in turn, creates a deeper, more authentic connection with others and with your own heart.
This came at the perfect, synchronous time for me. I've recently been gaslighted by someone with narcissistic traits who told me I'm manipulative and selfish. As if it were some terrible thing. I definitely need to own the Dark Queen within me, unapologetically. I cannot be all light and perfect but I can be True and Real.
Yes! We need the Dark Queen to protect us from people who don't have our best interests at heart. Where the Villain Crown of manipulative and selfish - and stand in your dark power! 🖤👑
I really needed to hear this. I was always called a B*tch because I spoke my mind and as time went on I held back. To the point I don’t say much anymore it is rather depressing
Wear the B*tch Crown 👑 and speak your mind. It is depressing when we hold back, and we become lifeless, or it bubbles up in an unconstructive way. Thank you for sharing! 🖤
This piece is a fierce reclamation of the parts of ourselves we were taught to hide—the rage, the ruthlessness, the refusal to be palatable. I felt every word like a war cry. The Dark Queen isn’t just a metaphor; she’s a survival instinct, a compass when niceness starts costing us our voice, our boundaries, and our self respect. There’s something holy in giving yourself permission to be “too much,” especially in a world that rewards women for being small.
Wielding power with discernment, not denial—that’s the real art. It’s not about becoming the villain for show, but acknowledging that sometimes, to protect your soul, you have to be willing to disappoint people. You have to risk being misunderstood. And that risk? That’s where liberation lives.
Female villains aren’t really villains. If it was a male character it’d be a normal, ambitious guy. Women are painted as villains when they exist outside society’s ideas about what & how a woman “should” be. They burned us for centuries because of it.
Thanks for this thought-provoking post!
I loved this post. I've always been team villain. Villains are smart, strategic, ambitious, passionate entrepreneurs, and most of the time they dress better.
I also just started reading A Court of Thorns and Roses 😆✨
Such perfect timing for this for me 👏🏼👏🏼 thank you for articulating this so well!
This 💕🔮🥀