Why You Need a Dragon (and How to Become Dragon-Worthy)
The key to unlocking your power, wisdom, and creativity
The hero slays the dragon in Joseph Campbell's The Hero's Journey. It's an obstacle—a beast to be conquered to return home with the gold. Maureen Murdock doesn't mention dragons at all in The Heroine's Journey.
For centuries, dragons have been depicted as powerful, mystical beings—fierce adversaries to be slain or ancient forces guarding deep wisdom.
But in modern literature, we see a compelling shift: women and dragons are no longer enemies. Instead, they’re allies. The dragon is a representation of untamed feminine potential waiting to be awakened.
The Feminine and the Dragon: A Sacred Bond
Dragons are associated with order and chaos, creation and destruction, wisdom and mystery. These dualities align with the feminine archetypes, which also hold paradoxical power—the ability to create and destroy, the maiden, mother, and crone (you are all, all at once).
In Jungian psychology, the dragon often represents the shadow—the parts of ourselves that we suppress (consciously) or repress (unconsciously). For women, this can mean rage, sovereignty, power, sexuality, or deep instinctual wisdom.
Often, we think of the shadow as the parts of ourselves that are deemed "unworthy," like jealousy, manipulation, or vanity. And that's part of it (there's wisdom and power there, too), but it also holds magic, creativity, and courage. The shadow contains anything that doesn't align with our ego—who we believe ourselves to be, and how we present to the world.
So, what happens when a woman bonds with a dragon? She integrates her shadow and reclaims her full power.
Today's heroines don't slay the dragons—we ride them.
Let's look at a few examples from modern myths.
Daenerys Targaryen: The Mother of Dragons
In Game of Thrones, Daenerys begins as a powerless girl, married off to serve a political agenda. She is underestimated, manipulated, and seemingly fragile. But her destiny changes when she steps into the fire and is reborn alongside her dragons. Here, the dragon catalyzes:
Rebirth: Daenerys' connection to her dragons signifies her transformation. She is no longer a pawn but a queen when she emerges from the flames.
Potential: Her dragons are an extension of her own inner fire—her courage, willpower, and divine right to rule.
Sovereignty: Daenerys no longer needs a man (though she does enjoy them). She steps into her own authority and power.
Her three dragons allow her to fight white walkers and liberate kingdoms—well, until she destroys one. But even then, her dragon shows her the utmost loyalty.
Violet Sorrengail: Silver One
In The Empyrean Series by Rebecca Yarros, the heroine, Violet Sorrengail, is thrust into a brutal world where only the strongest survive. She is told from the beginning that she is too weak, too fragile to bond with a dragon, let alone become a warrior.
Yet, against all odds, she does. And not just one—she bonds with two dragons (which is practically unheard of). Here, the dragon catalyzes:
Initiation: When Violet bonds with her dragon, she steps into her power. It is not given to her; she earns it through resilience and belief in herself.
Potential: In Fourth Wing, dragons choose their riders based on worthiness, not strength. They see beyond limitations and into one's true potential.
Skill: Violet learns that power isn't about brute force but strategy, intelligence, and trusting her gifts.
Violet's journey mirrors many women's challenges: society underestimates them. Fortunately, for Violet, her dragon never does.
Manon Blackbeak: Queen of Witches
In Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas, the imperious, cruel, and stunningly beautiful Ironteeth Witch, Manon Blackbeak, begins as a ruthless leader with a heart of stone. But something shifts when she bonds with her wyvern, Abraxos (ok, so he's not a dragon, but he's close enough).
Compassion: Abraxos is not the biggest or strongest, but he is fiercely loyal and deeply sensitive. Through him, Manon begins to access her capacity for empathy and love.
Connection: Their bond softens her edges. She begins questioning the rules she's been taught to live by and her relationships with others.
Transformation: With Abraxos, Manon doesn't lose her power—she becomes more whole. She learns that strength can coexist with tenderness.
Abraxos doesn't demand that she change; he simply shows her what's possible.
Here's the thing: Not everyone gets a dragon. You have to be worthy of one.
Dragons don't give their riders anything they don’t already have—they amplify it.
Daenerys was a liberator.
Lightning was Violet's gift—dragon power activated it.
Manon was always capable of love—she just didn't know.
Dragons are wise, loyal, protective, lethal, and often snarky with a bad temper. They protect their riders at all costs but have little concern for others. As Violet's dragon, Tairn reminds her, "Dragons don't answer to humans."
And isn't that what we all really want? A mystical, lethal creature who is loyal to only us (and maybe a few trusted dragons)?
Dragons have names like Tairn, Abraxos, Vhagar, and Drogon. Their names are often personal and ancestral. They represent legacy, myth, and strength.
As women with fragile bodies and mortal lives, many of our strategies revolve around staying safe. Often, this keeps us playing small because when we shine our light, it can feel like there's a target on our backs.
But what if you had a dragon? One that protected you from enemies, kept others in line, and emboldened you to speak your truth?
What would you stand for?
What demands would you make?
What power would you wield?
What would you wear? (I imagine myself in some fierce flight leathers.)
No, it's not a silly question. I'll share how to bond with a dragon in just a bit.
First, remember: you must be chosen by a dragon. Are you dragon-worthy? Ask yourself:
Do you train your mind, body, and spirit?
Are you committed to mastering your magic?
Are your intentions honorable?
My dragon, Byrgaron (named after my late Labradoodle, Bear), inspires me to move my body through yoga, dance, and weight-lifting, sit down to write, meditate, speak my mind, and even put on a stylish outfit.
They inspire us to be our best—and then amplify our magic. Because let's face it: if you spend your days scrolling social media and eating junk food, there's no way a dragon will choose you. Sorry.
Ready to Meet Your Dragon?
If you're feeling the call of your inner dragon, don’t stop here.
For paid subscribers, I’ve created a guided Active Imagination journey where you’ll enter the imaginal realm to meet your dragon face-to-face and reclaim your power, purpose, and potential. You’ll also receive a downloadable workbook with journaling prompts to help you integrate what your dragon reveals.
This is where the real transformation begins.
Click here to bond with your Dragon.
You don’t slay the dragon.
You ride it.