Lilith: The Power of Choosing Yourself

For those ready to stop people-pleasing and start living freely.

There’s a myth many of us have lived under: Be a good girl, and life will go smoothly.

Smile. Be agreeable. Say yes when you want to say no. Suppress the rage. Numb the desire. So, let me ask you: How’s that working out?

This month in Mythic Musings (my monthly live for paid subscribers), we’re working with the goddess Lilith—a potent reflection of the Wild Woman or Witch archetype. She helps you to remember what it feels like to become the author of your own story.

The Myth of Lilith: First Woman, First Rebel

Long before Eve, there was Lilith. Jewish folklore says God created Adam and Lilith together as equals. But Adam thought Lilith beneath him — literally. He wanted to be on top during sex, but she wanted to have sex as equals (don’t we all want our turn on top?). So Lilith left the Garden of Eden (she left paradise!), choosing exile over subservience.

What followed was centuries of vilification. She was called a demon, blamed for infant deaths, and described as feral and hairy. However, other traditions viewed her differently—as a protector of stillborn children, a symbol of feminine power, and a guide for those who dared to live unconventionally.

Lilith didn’t stay where she wasn’t honored. She walked away, becoming a symbol of independence and feminine power.

And maybe, you’ve heard her call.

Lilith in Modern Myths

We see echoes of Lilith in today’s literature—powerful, untamed women like Manon Blackbeak from Throne of Glass, who refuses to be controlled, contained, or redeemed on anyone’s terms but her own.

Or Nesta, in the ACOTAR series, who has no qualms about being disagreeable. In fact, it is her key trait. She doesn’t succumb to the wishes of others; she stays true to herself and becomes an esteemed warrior.

These characters, like Lilith, remind us what it means to be fully sovereign. No, it’s not always the easier path (it’s usually not), but it’s the one that our soul craves. As Clarissa Pinkola Estés writes in Women Who Run With the Wolves:

To be ourselves causes us to be exiled by many others, and yet to comply with what others want causes us to be exiled from ourselves.

Living for Yourself—Not for Others

In today’s world, women are told, “You can have it all!” So we juggle a career, kids, flawless skin, green smoothies, energetic sex lives, and five-step morning routines. Rather than feeling empowered, we feel exhausted, like we’ve swapped one form of oppression for another.

Lilith encourages you to pause and ask: Is this what I truly want? Or am I performing for someone else’s approval?

If you’ve ever felt the tension between what your soul wants and what others expect, you’re not alone. Lilith reminds us that when we spend a lifetime pleasing others, it’s unlikely we’ll get a chance to please ourselves.

What would it look like to chart your own path?

My Lilith Moment

For most of my life, I followed a prescribed path and did all the “right” things: a corporate job, a graduate degree, marriage, and motherhood. On the surface, everything looked pretty good. But inside, I felt hollow.

However, in my late thirties, I started to dismantle the life I had worked so hard to create, like my marriage and career. They no longer felt true to who I was, and definitely not who I was becoming.

People thought I was having a mid-life crisis. I knew that it was quite the opposite; it was a mid-life awakening. Some truly expressed concern for my well-being. Yet, when I finally dropped the mask and said yes to my true work—teaching, writing, and guiding, I no longer felt exhausted, I felt energized, inspired, and alive.

Many people judged my choices. But others whispered: “Thank you. You’ve inspired me to make some changes, too.”

Where Lilith Lives in You

Now, I’m not saying you need to leave your marriage or career to invoke your inner Lilith. But you will need to leave the systems, stories, and roles that no longer serve you.

Lilith’s energy arises any time you:

• Say no to a path that looks good on paper but feels like death in your body.

• Walk away from relationships that require self-abandonment.

• Speak a truth that might get you labeled “too much.”

• Choose desire, freedom, or authenticity over approval.

She shows up when you stop contorting yourself to fit the mold.

This Month in Mythic Musings:

Join me this month for a live call and practice session exclusively for paid subscribers, where we’ll:

• Explore Lilith as the Wild Woman archetype

• Reflect on her presence in modern stories like Throne of Glass

• Embody her energy through a guided active imagination meditation

• Use curated journaling prompts to reclaim your truth

This live session will take place on Wednesday, June 25th, at 3:00 PM EST. If you can’t make it, a replay will be available.

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Want more goddess wisdom?

Get the full story, and many others, in my book, The Goddess Solution: Practical Wisdom for Everyday Women. It’s filled with stories, rituals, and inspiration to help you invoke your inner goddess. At the time of writing this, the Kindle version is on sale for $1.99!